The Wedding

Well, it happened! And it was a perfect day.

Very clear (but COLD!) day.
I chose to believe the scaffolding around the temple was its scarf.

Words can't describe it, actually. It was a perfect day. I know that's what I should have expected... but I never dreamed it would have been as great as it actually was! And the 10 days since that perfect day have been even better. And I look forward to eternity being the same.

As requested, I am sharing some of the photos so that those who weren't able to come can see that yes, in fact, it did happen, and I wasn't making it up!

Photo credit: Chelsea Lehman was our photographer, and she did an AMAZING JOB!!!
Check out her website - http://chelsealehman.com/ 

I truly live one lucky life. Keenan and I both do. Thank you to EVERYONE who helped make this such an incredibly wonderful, special, lovely day. We are so grateful to you!

What an awesome group of people! Look at how well they are enjoying the FREEZING temperature!
Successful group photo = my top photographic priority. 
Remind me to share Mom's disaster wedding photo with you someday.

Keenan: excellent dipper. Linda: terrible dippee.
I love how my side is mostly shocked and Keenan's side is predominantly cheering. Irony?

There are twins in there, FYI.
(In Bethany, not me. Though my womb was blessed MULTIPLE times throughout the day.) 

I love my mom!!!

Henceforth, Keenan will be pursuing a tie-modeling career.
"The Price is Tie-t"
And, after doing our flowers, I will be opening a floral shop.
"Les Fleurs du Mal"

#WhataStudMuffin
Holding his lucky six-pence. You can never be too careful.

Don't drop them. #FingernailsWereGrown
Did I mention I did our flowers myself? 
I am Pinterestingly Proud.

One of the first things I ever noticed about Keenan was his socks. #ThumbsUp

Wedding Photos Haiku by Linda Price
Our noses got red,
Since it was VERY CHILLY.
Thus the black and white.

Our beautiful Bountiful!
Everything the light touches is our kingdom.
The subjects of the kingdom just don't know it yet.

Mom made the cake, and she did a WONDERFUL job. She is so amazing!!!
It weighed almost as much as she does. No joke.

Keenan's wonderful parents provided the ice cream!
Pictured: not his parents... but some of our family!

That's a waffle lot of ice cream!!!

What a cute little niece and nephew and sister-in-law I now have.

Mom and Nate provided a beautiful venue for the reception!
The Wight House was the right house.*

*Disclaimer: in some cases the White House is the wrong house.

What handsome brothers. Both are available, ladies!
*shazam!*

Forever friends and neighbors who journeyed clear from Monticello to support us!
I might have shed a tear when I saw they came.

Cutting the cake. I was apprehensive.

I was not.

Keenan was sweet.

But I think he was okay with it.

First (ever) dance.
Recently discovered: We can't dance.

Throwing the bouquet...

My not-so-baby sister caught it,
much to my joint pleasure/dismay.
Me (posing as Quasimodo, apparently):
What?? You can't catch that yet! Unacceptable.

The troops performing their duty! It turned out so cute.

We drove my car so that Keenan's would be protected from such vandalism.
We both know that the Jetta has been with and will go through worse.

#DoesBennyTheJettaSmellLikeCrayons

And then we left.
And we are living happily ever after!

The Young Man

******WARNING: MUSHY POST ALERT******

It is fascinating to me how one's entire life can change so quickly. Most of the time when you hear about a life-changing event, it's a tragedy. In the past six months, however, my life trajectory has changed so much my head is still spinning. And let me just say: it is absolutely wonderful.

This is SO much better than the original life trajectory. Or the Plan B trajectory. Or Plans H-K. Or Plan W.

Three months ago, a handsome, intelligent, funny, sweet, clever young man asked me to marry him (well, formally. He'd kind of asked me about 10 times before... but that was the actual formal, down-on-one-knee, public-knowledge occasion.) Today marks about 10 months since I actually met him. It marks a bit more than 5 months from our first date... which means it marks a bit more than 5 months from when I fell head-over-heels-to-the-moon in love with him. Now, in just two weeks, I will marry The Most Amazing Man in the World.

I know.
You're thinking to yourselves... Linda?? Practical Linda??? Practical, sensible, methodical, analytical, mature, boring Linda???? Falling in love after ONE DATE? No way.

Yep. That's how it happened. Now I get to eat my words for the rest of my life after making fun of countless movies and people for falling in love quickly.

Summarized in one word: uncharacteristic.

Isn't it awesome, though? Isn't God good? Isn't He wise to let me know, without any doubt, that Keenan Price is absolutely the best man in the world for me? And so quickly. It's the one choice in my life I haven't had to mull over or rethink. As it turns out, deciding to marry Keenan has been the EASIEST decision I've ever made.

Love is always a beautiful thing. But true love is even better. It is absolutely worth the wait. I wouldn't change any of it for the world.

Now that this hurdle--finding an husband--is done, I've done a lot of self-reflection. I don't regret the paths I've taken. I am so glad I took advantage of every opportunity that presented itself, and I didn't waste any time, and I truly worked hard and tried many different things. I am grateful for the time I had to explore and expand my horizons. While it would have been really nice to have met Mr. Price sooner, I am glad that we met when we did. Sometime, when life slows down a bit, I'll share how that happened :) The whole story is pretty great.

The Most Amazing Man in the World and guest.

That being said, the only thing I wish that I'd done better is TRUST GOD. I wish that I had trusted that God would really keep His promises to me. I wish my faith had been stronger! I wish that I hadn't spent so much time worrying about whether or not I'd be able to partake in His promised blessings... wondering whether or not keeping the commandments really did result in blessings for me. I never doubted whether or not that would work for other people, but how could it also work for me?

Me, panicking.

How many times did I worry about getting "too old" to get married or have a family?* Since I'm 25 (GASP! SO OLD!! *sarcasm* even though it can feel about 58 in Utah County years, it is NOT old), this was a concern for me.

How many times did I wonder 'how I would know' if the man I marry is going to be a good person forever? How many times did I question whether or not things would actually work out?

How many times did I try to steady the ark, thinking that I knew better my situation better than my HEAVENLY FATHER?

*For Pete's sake... Abraham and Sarah were 100 years old! Show a little faith, Linda!

Now, the insecurities and worries are laughable. I am rolling my eyes at myself right now... How could I have been so foolish??? How could I not have believed that The Most Powerful Being has the ability to make everything unfold perfectly and clearly for me?

Hello, McFlinda?? Hello??

Photo Credit: Meme Generator.
Can't go wrong with a Back to the Future meme.

But such is faith. It's much easier to see trust the past than the future. But let's DO trust the future. Let's trust that Heavenly Father knows us and our deepest desires and our fears... He gets it. He's definitely considered everything we have and haven't thought of. Let's trust that "blessings will come."   And oh my goodness... blessings come by the bucket-full.

What a cutie-face.

It's one thing to anticipate that the blessings will come "someday". It's another thing to actually see those blessings come POURING in. I want to just add my testimony that yes, blessings DO come.
As my betrothed always says,

"When you do the things you are supposed to do, everything works out."

Take a wild guess as to which of us is more photogenic.
#hopefullyhisgenesaredominant

     

*******SPOILER ALERT*******

Keenan Price, I love you. Thank you for always doing what you were supposed to do. Thank you for loving me. You brought me more joy and peace and happiness and security than I could have imagined. I'm thrilled to continue this adventure with you. 

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for putting us together and keeping promises, like always. 

  

The Chocolates

Okay, I need to vent.

After 150 years of boxed chocolates, I fail to understand how they haven't evolved into a more efficient, customer-pleasing system.

Yeah, we get it, Mrs. Gump. Thanks a lot.

Year after year, I face disappointment after disappointment... Due to my obsession with staying healthy/alive (a characteristic most people find irritating), I avoid candy and pop and other sugary delights. 

When offered, however, a lovely piece of chocolate is worth the splurge. 

In fact, it's in my blood* to share a box of chocolates. Maybe someday I will be wealthy enough to purchase these types of candy boxes to share with others. Until then, as schools drain my financial reserves, I'm just the grateful recipient of such sharing.  

*My grandparents (Barton) met because my grandpa won a box of chocolates at a costume contest and shared them with the judge (my grandma). And, yes, my grandpa WAS dressed up as a woman! 

#crossdressingancestry #familyhistoryIamdoingit

Christmas time at my work brings many goodies and treats. The other day, one of those treats included a BEAUTIFUL box of chocolates from See's Candies. 

There was just one minor problem... 

No chocolate guide was included. 

As I searched the contents of the box, unconsciously singing Dora's "I'm the Map" song, absolutely no clues were given as to which chocolates were delicious and which should be ignored. All I really want out of a box of chocolates is a truffle. Or mint. I can tolerate the nutty globs as well. 

But if I bite into a chocolate, and pastel-colored gunk is revealed, I am not pleased. Sticky cavity-causing caramel is even worse. Caramel and gross pretend-fruit-paste, disguised as perfectly wonderful CHOCOLATE, is most distasteful and heart-wrenching to this Puritan Chocolate Lover. 

They were little Trojan horses.

*Coming soon: Good photos from a new phone! *GASP*

See's Candies: major oversight this time, and you should be embarrassed. 

A map or guide or legend or book or rudimentary drawing/definition of the chocolates ought to be included in every single box. I have many qualms with the FDA, but this is a serious problem they have let "slip by" and ignored, and I will not tolerate it any longer. It ought to be mandatory that every box of chocolates include a map so that there are no unpleasant surprises to the consumer. If the consumer chooses to ignore the provided instructions, that is entirely up to them and the chocolatier will not be liable. 

What a travesty. 

There are only so many little bathtubs for those chocolates to sit in. I don't understand... first of all, I fail to understand how can chocolatiers sleep at night KNOWING that they have completely abandoned their customers to the luck of the draw??? Let alone EVEN INCLUDING THOSE GROSS THINGS IN THEIR SELECTION!

It is most displeasing. 

Dear All Chocolate Making Persons, 

Please see the images below for hints if you are struggling to create your own chocolate guide.

With love, and strong admonition, 

Linda

See? It isn't that hard. #irony #pun #lol

No degree in graphic design necessary.

I'm begging you.

By the way, I just used The Google to find these pictures. I'm not encouraging to you visit the sites, I just don't want to infringe on copyrights: see the links if you want to give credit where it's due for the photos.
I recognize that plagiarism is not a priority for everyone though.

I feel your pain, Meme friend.

The Election

Wednesday, November 9, 2016: the results are in.

Initial reaction: shock, followed closely by disbelief. Around 1:00 this morning, when the winner was announced, I felt horrified. I went to class and work, and got depressed. My initial post was going to be one of mourning, about how we are in a huge problem, that we (as Americans) have seriously messed up, and that impending doom is soon to follow.

(Hint: I am not a Trump supporter. 

I "voted my conscience", but I absolutely supported a Hillary win. 

In fact, I--like the rest of the world--assumed that she would win... major oversight on my part.)

Then a really classy lady, often adorned in a colorful pantsuit, gave a speech that made me re-evaluate my politically charged post.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, the trail blazer.

I'm a political junkie, but I've refrained from commenting or sharing or voicing my opinion online during this tumultuous election. It's not because I was embarrassed or ashamed, but it's because I was in the process of forming an opinion. Hear me out on this thought that I've gradually formed over the past several months/years.

It is my opinion, not fact or law. Thanks to a loving  God, I am free to have that opinion. 

Thanks to the men and women who have fought to preserve the United States of America and ideals of freedom throughout the world, I am able to express that opinion. Thanks to many women in this world, I know that my opinion is worth something--if only to me.  

The opinion I've formed is this: we will be okay. 


The big problem facing Americans is not an overwhelming debt or impossible healthcare or unpredictable economy or out-of-control pollution. Those are, indeed, enormous problems, but it is not the most critical challenge.

The big problem facing America today, post-election, is how we are going to unite.

Walls are up between Republicans and Democrats and third-parties. Loud, mean, belittling, hard walls. This election has thrown punches at every turn... Not just between parties, but within parties! All the fighting has created a "yuge" division between Americans. A war of words and accusations and conspiracy has bombarded its way through the United States this year.

But it is not the first war we've seen. We've been down paths of division before, and while it may have been hard and ugly, we got through. A wonderful song comes to mind:

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light,

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,

Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;

Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

The flag is still there, friends. Right now, we have a marvelous opportunity ahead of us: we can unite. We can stand together. We can lift wherever we are. We can help our country and states and counties and cities. Abraham Lincoln quoted the New Testament in one of his most famous speeches: a house divided against itself cannot stand. We cannot afford to not coalesce!

So, as we start this new chapter in history, I plead with everyone to stop being prejudiced. Instead of jumping to a defense, walk around in someone's shoes and find out their perspective. Quit assuming people are ignorant or oblivious. Treat everyone as an equal, dignified, precious human being. Be kind and generous in thought and action. See the best in others; if you can't see it, find it.
Don't be a bully.

Just because you disagree with someone does not mean that you need to be disagreeable. 

We are all different. We all have our different opinions and fears and reasons and experiences: respect them. Learn from them. The Word of the Day today is syncretism. Chew on that.

http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/2016/11/09/syncretism

Trailblazers

Now, to Secretary Hillary Clinton, for whom I have an enormous amount of appreciation, I would like to personally say, as a woman: thank you.

On behalf of every girl who has ever lost to an unqualified, obtuse guy, thank you for trying. Hillary, over the course of your career you have taken many bullets. Words cannot express the contribution you have made, especially for women, in this great country. Thank you for the example you set for me: to do my homework, to turn the other cheek, to be patient, to look beyond my initial assumptions. Those principles were not wasted. They were part of your reputation and an example for future women to follow.

Thank you for fighting this battle. Thank you for adding one more punch to that glass ceiling. Thank you for fighting for underappreciated priorities. You didn't win an election, but you won my respect. You deepened my resolve to keep fighting for us, for women.

Many references to Susan B. Anthony and women's rights have been made this week. Many comparisons have been made with her and you: the gender battle continues. While neither of you got to experience the reward of your efforts, where would we be without it? Susan didn't get to vote. Hillary isn't president. But Hillary did get to vote this week, and so did I. Someday, a woman will be president, and she will only have gotten there because of the thousands of efforts of women (and men) before her.

I repeat the scripture you quoted this morning: "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season, we shall reap if we do not lose heart" (Galatians 6:9-10).


To Mr. Trump, I offer you a chance to lead. This will be my challenge: following my own advice. I will work to keep an open and supportive mind. I will do my part to contribute to the United States of America. I hope you do the same.

The flag is still there.

#presidentialelection2016

#Trump

#HillaryClinton2016

#women

#GodBlesstheUSA

The Phone

Hi. My name is Linda, and I am a serial phone killer. 

The first step in solving a problem is admitting there is one in the first place.

Nothing drives a point like an inspirational photo. #beardedwisdom
Photo cred: Duck Dynasty, which fortunately I have never seen. 

Phones for which I am responsible do not last long.

This is an entirely unintentional behavior. Whenever a phone comes into my stewardship, I plan to care for it during its entire 2+ year stay. I imagine all of the funny texts and pictures it will receive, the calls it will make, the place it will sleep as it charges at night. I'm like Marie Barone in that and keep the original plastic screen protector on for months and months.

This will be the phone that makes it, I think to myself. This phone will break the curse. 

But alas, it never is. 

Maybe I am actually just really hard to live with, so the phones just suicide their way out of being with me. This would also explain why I am, as yet, unmarried. #menacetosociety #happy25thbirthday   

Regardless of why my phones hate me, since I got my first phone around the year 2008, I have been through phones like the Von Trapp children went through governesses. 

They have died the following ways: 

• Toilet dives (twice)
• Personal tours of washing machine non-delicate cycles (twice)
• Left outside (ground of a parking lot, front steps, fences, school playgrounds) overnight in:
• Snowstorms
• Rainstorms
• Hailstorms
• Dropped from various devastating heights (at least 6... can't actually remember all of them.)
• Elevator shafts
• Multi-story buildings
• My hand: the gravitational speed from about the height of my waist to the ground is apparently too much for a phone screen to handle. (three times)
• Run over by train
• Run over by cars

This is just a (somewhat complete) list of ways my phone has died past the point of DIY recovery. This doesn't include the many times my phone has simply run away from me (bowling alleys, different schools, people's houses, gas stations, libraries, BYU hallways, etc.)

Meet Maria:
iPhone 5C, with a whopping 8 GB memory.
Funds invested: >$500. Net worth: $30.

Even now, as I'm writing all of this down, I am horrified by my phono-cide behavior. The disasters just keep going and going and going... What is the matter with me???

Take my current phone, for example: my first (and only) smart phone, which I got in October 2014. Initial reactions could be something like: Oh my goodness! You have owned the SAME PHONE for two years!!! 

But I should clarify. I have paid for the following repairs, in addition to the actual phone. 

Since, after all, why should I get the warranty? ....Sigh....

• Run over (by the car I was driving) two weeks after purchase
• Screen was smashed beyond usability when dropped on a tile floor around Thanksgiving time #happyholidays
• Screen was cracked when dropped whilst walking a dog* but was still usable until
• Screen was dropped from my hand on the ground en route to a wedding, chipping out an entire inch-wide corner of the screen.

*Yes: it did contribute to my general and reasonable dislike of dogs. 

Now, here we are. Two years after initial purchase. 

And this is the current view my phone camera provides. 

Photo cred: Me. October 30, 2016

It's one of the reasons why I've taken so long to write another blog post, because everyone knows that people hate reading but love pictures. The more juicy pictures you have on a post, the more likely people will read it... Yada yada yada. 

Not that it really matters anyway, because apparently I'm only posting about all the embarrassing things that happen to me in order to ensure that I am a societal pariah... so why would I want a bigger audience??

I didn't even drop my phone this time. The camera spontaneously stopped working. Granted, the selfie mode does work. So now I just inconspicuously flip my phone around whenever I want to take a picture of something. Which isn't conspicuous at all, really. And definitely produces the same high-definition, non-pixelated results. 

My original photo had a smiling model, but then I was wearing a Ute hoodie and OBVIOUSLY couldn't post something like that on the internet. Gross. And after a certain number of selfies, one just has to accept that one is not as photogenic as all those other Insta-grammies out there. 

The normal camera just quit: it doesn't want to work for me anymore. My poor phone is leading a miserable life. I keep fixing it, but maybe it's time to say goodbye, and I should just put it down. Let the phone go to iHeaven. 

The funds I could have reallocated from the enormous financial contribution I've made to iPhone repairs could have bought me a SWEET new phone... But it was the principle of the experience: 

I AM RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH TO OWN 

THE SAME PHONE FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME.

And, by tomorrow, I will officially have made it two years. 

That is how you solve a problem like Maria.